


Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

by Nessa123



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Drunk Matt Casey, F/M, First Kiss, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nessa123/pseuds/Nessa123
Summary: Matt gets drunk at Molly's and Sylvie makes sure he gets home safe. The only thing is that drunk Matt talks a lot.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This is set sometime between season 8 ending and season 9 beginning
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing Chicago Fire characters so be gentle in the comments please. 
> 
> Also I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

It was later than she would normally get to Molly’s and Stella had already texted her three times to make sure she was still coming but after the rough shift they had had, Sylvie needed to work off some excess energy. She had gone to a late spin class that Foster was teaching, a class Sylvie would normally avoid but the fast-paced, high-energy session was just what she had needed. 

After the class had ended and she had said good-bye to Foster, trying not to show how sad it made her that they barely saw each other anymore, Sylvie had gone back to her apartment to shower. Now it was just after 9:30pm and she was finally walking through Molly’s front door. 

Immediately, Sylvie felt herself relax. These were her people. These were the people who knew the sadness she was feeling because they were feeling it too. Everywhere Sylvie looked she saw little groups of the people she loved and now the only decision she had to make was which group to join. The decision came easily to her when she caught site of Matt sitting alone at the farthest end of the bar. He looked rough, still handsome but the way his shoulders hunched did a great job conveying the pain he felt.  
Sylvie pulled herself onto the stool next to Matt and smiled softly when Stella placed a large glass of rosé in front of her. Matt turned his head slightly, catching her movements in his peripheral vision, and immediately lit up when he saw it was her who was interrupting his alone time. She smiled back at him and went to take a sip of her drink. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him looking at her, blatantly running his eyes up and down her body. 

“You look pretty,” he said, taking a strand of her hair and letting in run through his fingertips. Sylvie nearly spit out her drink. The half-empty glass in front of him obviously wasn’t his first drink of the night, based on the fact that his words were slightly slurred and the Matt Casey she knew would never have said that to her. 

“You’re drunk,” she replied, laughing a little. In truth she had mixed feelings about him drinking so much. Obviously, it made her happy that he was relaxing but she was concerned that the reason he was drinking was to drown the guilt he felt about their call earlier that morning. The bad outcome of the call was absolutely not his fault but Sylvie knew him well enough to know that he was definitely blaming himself anyways. 

“Maybe… Just a little bit… But that doesn’t change the fact that you look pretty. I think you always look pretty. Even in turn-out gear,” Sylvie went to respond but he just kept talking, “You would probably look pretty wearing anything. But my favorite thing I’ve seen you wear was that dark blue bridesmaids dress at Cruz’s wedding.”

Sylvie was speechless. Matt Casey was not talkative like this. He kept his thoughts and feelings to himself as much as possible. Sylvie almost wanted to encourage him, keep him talking and opening up but then she realized that that wouldn’t be fair. She didn’t want to take advantage of him while he was drunk. She knew that sober Matt would be horrified by the words coming out of drunk Matt’s mouth. 

He looked thoughtful now, like he was trying to think of something she had worn that topped that dress and Sylvie knew she had to stop him before he said anything else he would regret. 

“Well, I’m flattered but to be fair I didn’t exactly pick that dress. Chloe did. But enough about that, how many of those have you had?” She asked pointing at the glass in front of him. 

“Not sure. A few?” He replied. Then, since she had just reminded him the drink existed, he picked it up and downed the rest of it. Herrmann came over and asked if Casey wanted another one but before he could reply Sylvie shook her head and gave Herrmann a look that clearly said Matt didn’t need anymore alcohol tonight. 

“I need another drink! Don’t leave Hermann, I need another drink!” Matt called as Hermann started walking away. He just held his hands up and pointed at Sylvie, shaking his head, before turning to serve other customers. 

“Matt,” Sylvie said, pulling his attention back to her, “how did you get here?”

“I drove. I didn’t plan to stay long but then you weren’t here and I felt sad so I drank… Lots.”

“Okay, we need to get you home. Where are your keys?” She asked, not acknowledging the first part of his sentence. That was just the alcohol talking.

“In my pocket. Where are your keys?” Matt looked confused now, like he couldn’t figure out why it mattered where his keys were since he didn’t plan to leave anytime soon. 

“I took an uber here. I was planning to drink enough to drown the last of my sorrows but I think you’ve drank enough for the both of us. Let’s go. I’ll drive your truck back to your place and uber home from there.” Sylvie replied, standing up. She placed enough money for her practically untouched rosé on the bar. She could get Herrmann or Stella’s attention and ask about the bill for Matt’s drinks but she found she didn’t want to know how many he had had. He could settle the bill later. She turned and found Matt just staring at her. After a full minute of him not moving Sylvie pulled his arm until he finally stood up. 

He was wearing a soft looking long sleeve shirt that clearly didn’t have any pockets so he must have meant his keys were in his pants pocket. Since Matt still hadn’t done anything other than stare at her, she figured she was just going to have to go for it. This next moment was going to haunt her thoughts for the next several months she was sure but it had to be done. Taking a deep breath, Sylvie patted Matt’s thigh where his jeans pockets were. She felt the right side first and was relieved when she felt his keys, so she quickly reached inside the pocket and pulled the keys out. Being this close to him was torture and she felt her face turning a deep red. Why did she have to be so in love with him?  
As soon as her hand had touched him, he had froze in place and now he was leaning towards her with a look on his face she couldn’t quite read. She wasn’t prepared to deal with that look right now so she grabbed her purse from where she had hung it on her bar stool then walked around Matt so she was behind him and gave him a gentle push so he would start walking. He resisted and instead of walking forward, he leaned backwards into her touch. 

“Come on, Matt. It’s time to go. Walk towards the door, please.” She said softly, stretching up on her toes so she could talk quietly into his ear. She didn’t want to draw any attention to them. She knew Matt would be embarrassed to have all the people he was in charge of see him drunk. 

Something she said worked because he started walking towards the door. She followed him and was impressed that even in his current condition he stopped to hold the door open for her. He was always so chivalrous and thoughtful. A simply gesture like this was one of the first things that made her realize that she more than just liked him. 

“Where to now?” He asked looking around. The streets outside of Molly’s were full of parked cars and she took a second to look around for his truck before responding to him.

“To your truck. I’m driving you home, remember?” She replies, shaking his keys a little so they make noise.

He didn’t respond, just tilted his head to the side a bit and studied her. She didn’t know what he was looking for but she was sure he was going to start saying more things he would regret if they didn’t start moving so she wrapped one of her hands around his wrist and pulled him towards his truck. 

Once they got to his truck she opened the passenger side door and gestured for him to hop in. Thankfully, he seemed to be listening to her and got in with no complaints. Sylvie circled the truck and got in the driver’s side. She clicked her seat belt on before turning towards Matt to make sure he had buckled himself in. She jumped a little when she realized he was sitting in the middle seat, right beside her, instead of the passenger seat. 

“What are you doing?” She asked, laughing at the absurd situation she was in. What had she done wrong in a past life that made the universe conspire against her? Whatever it was must have been bad because this was torture. The man she loved was sitting so close to her she could count his eye lashes but she couldn’t do anything about it because he was off limits. Besides, she was almost positive he didn’t feel the same way about her as she felt about him. 

“Sitting in my truck,” He replied, feigning innocence. 

“Uh huh… and why are you sitting in the middle? There is a nice, much bigger, seat just a few inches to your right.” 

“No thanks. I like this seat.”

Sylvie chose not to respond, deciding the quicker option was to just start the truck and drive. She was focused on not hitting anything, knowing how much his truck meant to him, but she could feel him staring at her. Matt was never very talkative so his silence didn’t faze her, but he usually didn’t look at her so much. She knew she would regret asking but the curiosity was sure to drive her crazy if she didn’t so the first red light they hit she looked at him and asked him why he was staring at her. 

“I’ve never had a pretty girl drive my truck. I’ve never had any girl drive my truck. Even Severide has only driven it once and that was because he was helping me at a job site and I cut my finger enough I needed stiches. He drove me to the hospital because he didn’t want me to pass out from blood loss while I was driving,” he said, laughing a little at the end. He had a fond look on his face and she knew that he was remembering other shenanigans he and Severide had gotten themselves into. 

“What do you mean? I’m sure Gabby drove your truck before?” She said without thinking. She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. She really didn’t want to talk about Gabby. She obviously knew that Matt had history with Gabby and of course she didn’t want to erase that history because it made him who he was now but she also didn’t want to talk about the relationship the two of them had. 

“Gabby didn’t like my truck. She always said it smelled too much like wood and tools. She told me I smelled too much like wood and tools a lot. Used to make me shower multiple times after I came back from a job site.” Matt looked sad for a moment before he continued talking, “that’s one of the many reasons her and I never would have lasted. Even if she had stayed in Chicago… It would have ended eventually. We wanted different things.”

“What do you want?” She asked. In the back of her mind, she remembered that he was drunk and she definitely shouldn’t be making him talk about this kind of stuff but the question was already out there and he didn’t even hesitate before speaking.

“I want someone who talks through decisions with me. Someone who takes my feelings and desires into account before making big decisions. I just want… a partner.” He said the last word so quietly she was positive that if he wasn’t sitting so close to her, she wouldn’t have heard it. Everything he said made her heart race. He was describing exactly what she wanted and she knew now, without a single doubt, that she would never find someone she wanted more than she wanted Matt Casey. 

She was saved from replying by them pulling up to the apartment building Matt, Stella and Severide lived in. She had been here several times and knew her way to Matt’s parking spot. She pulled in, turned the truck off and turned to Matt. He looked tired now, like the alcohol in his system had settled to the point that it made him drowsy. She needed to get him upstairs fast before he passed out on her. 

Sylvie unbuckled them both and slid out of the truck. Matt followed her closely, without her even telling him too. Together, they silently made their way into the building and waited for the elevator. Once they reached Matt’s apartment door Sylvie messed with his keys that she still had until she found the right one and unlocked the door. They walked into the apartment then just stood there looking at each other. After about a minute of them just standing there Sylvie could feel the atmosphere shift. She always felt the thrum of attraction when she was this close to Matt but now, with the way he was looking at her, it felt nearly unbearable. She really just wanted to jump his bones. Matt suddenly looked much more awake and she couldn’t figure out why. 

One second Matt was standing in front of her, 3 feet away and the next he was crowding into her space. She was so surprised that she dropped his keys onto the floor and moved backwards several steps until her back hit the closed front door. Matt just followed her there and reached up, sliding one hand into her hair and putting the other on her hip. She sucked in a breath but didn’t have time to mentally adjust to anything before he was kissing her. 

The kiss was like fireworks. It was everything she had ever wanted and for a second she let herself sink into it. She was kissing him back with everything she had. When she felt Matt’s tongue slide into her mouth, she tasted the whisky he had been drinking at Molly’s and remembered why this was a bad idea. She flung her hands up and pushed on his chest, making him take a step back. He stopped kissing her but didn’t move either of his hands off her. 

“Matt… you’ve been drinking. You aren’t yourself right now. We can’t do this.” Sylvie said, trying not to cry at the thought that he wouldn’t remember any of this tomorrow.  
“I’m not that drunk.” His words were probably meant to convince her to continue kissing him but their faces were so close together that she could smell the alcohol on his breath when he talked. All his words really did were reaffirm her need put distance between them. She pushed against his chest again so he was forced to take another step back. 

“You need to sleep this off. You’ll feel differently in the morning.” 

“No. I won’t. Sylvie, I want you. I’m tired of not being with you.”

Everything he was saying was making her heart race but her brain was still functioning enough that she was able to take his hands off her body and move away from the front door. She didn’t say anything before she turned and walked down the hall towards his bedroom. Maybe if he saw his bed the tiredness he was feeling earlier would come back and she could convince him to go to sleep. She knew he would follow her and wasn’t at all surprised when she heard his footsteps behind her. 

She got to his bedroom door and hesitated a little bit. In all the times she had been in this apartment she had never been inside his bedroom. She pushed her nerves down and opened the door, stepping inside quickly. She walked a few steps into the room then turned around so she was looking at Matt. He looked confused and her heart squeezed a little at how beautiful he was. 

“You need to sleep. When you wake up in the morning, if you remember any of this, and still want to continue this conversation, I’ll be at my apartment.” Her voice was firm when she spoke but she knew he would try to argue. What she wasn’t expecting was for him to walk up to her and pull her close, hugging her and tucking her head against his shoulder while pressing his face into her hair.

“Sylvie. Don’t leave. Please. I get why you don’t want us to kiss anymore tonight but I want to be close to you,” he whispered into her hair. Her heart squeezed painfully again at his words but she had to stay firm. She needed space from him to come to a decision on what she would do when he didn’t remember any of this in the morning, or if something worse happened. Like he remembered it but said it was just the alcohol and he didn’t want her. 

“I have to go. Please sleep. Drink some water, take some Tylenol.” She pulls herself out of his grasp and leaves his room, walking quickly to the front door and out of the apartment. 

She orders an uber while she takes the elevator to the lobby and her mind runs through everything that had happened in the last hour or so. By the time her uber arrives her thoughts are less jumbled and she spends the whole ride to her apartment making a plan. If Matt doesn’t remember anything, she won’t bring it up. Nobody else will ever know about their kiss. If Matt does remember but doesn’t actually have feelings for her, she will take a couple shifts off, go see her parents and cry a lot then come back to Chicago and move on. Yes, it would be hard but it would be necessary for her if she wanted to continue seeing him as often as she currently does.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sylvie wakes up the next morning filled with dread. She can tell it’s still early because very little light from outside is filtering in from the curtains so she isn’t too worried about Matt being awake right now but still feels her nerves course through her. She needs to do something with her hands. 

Getting out of bed, Sylvie goes through her usual morning routine. Once she is dressed in comfortable clothes and feeling more awake, she starts baking. She makes 4 batches of different types of cookies before she hears someone knocking on her door. She wipes her hands off and walks to the door. Looking through the peep hole she sees Matt on the other side, even through the distorted view she can tell he looks disheveled. He looks like he got dressed in a hurry and had been running his hands through his hair. She takes a deep breath, preparing for whatever is about to happen, before she pulls open the door. He doesn’t give her a chance to greet him before he is speaking. 

“I wasn’t that drunk. I remember everything. I’ve wanted to kiss you for… a very long time. A year at least, probably closer to 2 years.” He said, speaking quickly enough that some of the words run together. It takes her a minute to comprehend what he said but when she does, she is utterly confused. 

“You were with Gabby at that charity event less than a year ago. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that you wanted to kiss me when you spent the night with her.” She turns and moves into her kitchen, purposefully putting the table between them. She was a little pissed off and a lot hurt that he thought she was stupid enough to fall for whatever lines he was spouting. 

“I know it sounds crazy. But it’s true. That night with Gabby was the closure I finally needed to really accept that Gabby and I were truly over and I could let myself really feel everything for you. Before you got engaged to the Chaplain, I was going to ask you out. Then you left Chicago with him I was so full of regret. I thought that if I had just asked you out, if I hadn’t been a coward, you would still be here and then you came back and we started getting even closer and my feelings for you continued to grow. When Gabby came into town, I was so confused. I had feelings for you but I also felt things for her. It wasn’t until she called me after I left her in her hotel room without saying goodbye that I realized fully what that night was. That night was me making a decision. When she left, I had no say in it. She just walked away and I had to be okay with it. But this time I got to walk away. That night was a goodbye, it was closure, it was the end of mine and Gabby’s relationship. She called me and invited me to come to Puerto Rico during my next furlough but I just deleted the message because I didn’t want to see her again. Gabby is my past; I want you to be my future. Sylvie you are everything I want. I know that its going to take time for you to really believe me, to really trust me but I promise I will prove to you how much you mean to me.” He was looking at her now, eyes pleading with her to trust him and she couldn’t think of a reason not to.

“It’s going to take a lot of time and effort for me to fully believe everything you just said.” She stated, trying not to smile at him.

“You’re worth it,” he replied, coming around the table. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He looked into her eyes for a second, long enough that she could pull away if she wanted to, before he kissed her. Like their first kiss, this one felt like fireworks and Sylvie was sure that trusting Matt Casey would be the best thing she has ever done.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who made it through this!
> 
> I have no idea if the stuff about other people driving Matt's truck is true or not but I do know quite a few men are very protective of their trucks so I went with it.


End file.
